Self-Centered Love in the Contemporary Evangelical Church: A Biblical Analysis of the Problem and Its Solution

By Mark W. Christy, PhD

A constant theme throughout the New Testament is the love of Christ which He exhibited to all during His crucifixion. Alongside this is the accompanying call of Christ to His disciples whereby He commands them to exhibit such love. While all Christians are directed to adhere to His mandate, many Christians (and their churches) seem to exhibit more self-love than the sort of selfless love exhibited and commanded by Christ. With this in mind, this article will examine Christ’s call to love others, determine to what degree it was displaying in the apostolic churches, consider biblical reasons for believers failing to demonstrate love for others, and apply all of this to the contemporary evangelical church.

Upon salvation, Christians are made ready to demonstrate “a sincere love for the brethren” since by their “obedience to the truth” they have “purified [their souls]” (1 Pet 1:22-23).[1] To be clear, this purification occurs through the regeneration work of the Holy Spirit in accordance with the will of God as Peter goes on to explain. By repenting and placing one’s faith in Christ (i.e., coming into “obedience to the truth”), believers, who have been enabled to make their good confession due to the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, have “purified [their] souls.”

When the first Spirit-filled believers gathered themselves into the earliest church assembly, Luke portrays their fellowship as an exhibition of the “sincere love” spoken of by Peter:

“They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved” (Acts 2:42-47).

In this Acts 2 Church, the believers were devoted to the Word of God, fellowship with each other, and prayer (v.42). Along with these, they seem to have celebrated the Lord’s Supper on a regular basis, as this is what “the breaking of bread” most likely is in reference to. This togetherness extended to how they dealt with their individual wealth. While they seem to have continued to maintain private ownership of their material assets, they were absolutely unhesitant about relinquishing these assets if a need arose from within the fellowship (vv.44-45). Such was their unity that Luke declares that these early church members had “one mind” (v.46).  Beyond this, their church affiliation directly affected their home life because these early church members regularly visited each other’s homes to eat meals together thus testifying, as Luke records and in conjunction with Peter’s aforementioned remarks, that their fellowship exhibited “gladness and sincerity of heart” (v.46). Their heartfelt display of true fellowship gave rise to a unified praise of God and corresponding powerful public witness to the saving power of God present within them (v.47).

Since this church was formed immediately following the Pentecost, it may be tempting to think that such an ideal communal display of love for one another would not be a reasonable expectation for the churches that would follow. Viewed this way, the Acts 2 Church becomes relegated to being little more than a mere template for churches to aspire toward and hopefully reach when they become fully joined to Christ in heaven. This, however, does not accord with Paul’s description of the Thessalonian Church.

The members of this Church had only been believers for a very short time, and yet Paul constantly rejoices over their faithfulness (1 Thess 2:19-20; 3:9; 4:9-10; 5:11; 2 Thess 1:3-4; 2:13). Within the apostle’s many comments concerning the vibrancy of the Thessalonian fellowship, he observes that their love for one another was sincere based on their behavior (1 Thess 4:9-10). Looking deeper into Paul’s commendations, one finds the Thessalonian Church, like the Acts 2 Church which predated it, placed a premium on absolute obedience to the Word of God: “For this reason we also constantly thank God that when you received the word of God which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe” (1 Thess 2:13). Their reception of the Word of God and their resulting fellowship which was characterized by sincere love for one another seems to have been mirrored by other churches as well for Paul notes that they “became imitators of the churches of God in Christ Jesus that are in Judea” (1 Thess 2:14). While the Thessalonians may not have practiced the same approaches to Christian charity or communal life as the believers in the Acts 2 Church, they nevertheless were commended for their sincere love and mutual encouragement of one another (1 Thess 5:11).

So far, it has been shown that at least some early churches were able to produce the sort of fellowship that is commanded by God in John 13:34: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” This command, though often interpreted upon wholly individualistic grounds in the West, is actually a command to be received by Christian individuals in such a way that it directly impacts every aspect of their lives including their relational commitments to their fellow church members. Instead of “forsaking our own assembling together,” the writer of Hebrews directs believers to “consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds” so as to “encourage one another” (10:24-25). This commitment to encouragement is absolutely essential “so that none of [the believers] will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb 3:13).

As one surveys the New Testament (NT) epistles, it becomes quite obvious that an others-focused communal life is an absolute essential to a faithful Christ-centered life. Instead of always seeking after what is best for themselves, Christians are called to “always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people” (1 Thess 5:15). They are expected to “[b]e devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor” (Rom 12:10). Instead of allowing sinful self-indulgences to distract them, they are told to “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Rom 14:19). Paul commands them to “serve one another” (Gal 5:13), “[b]ear one another’s burdens” (Gal 6:2), “[b]e kind to one another” (Eph 4:32), “be subject to one another” (Eph 5:21), “comfort one another” (1 Thess 4:18), “build up one another” (1 Thess 5:11), “confess [their] sins to one another” (James 5:16), pray for one another (James 5:16), “[b]e hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Pet 4:9), and “clothe [them]selves with humility toward one another” (1 Pet 5:5). The deep intimacy that would be developed by the fostering of such communal commitments could only lead to a fellowship that was “filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another” (Rom 15:14).

In the age of consumerism, many Christians have allowed their me-centered culture to prescribe for them how they should approach their believing fellowship. Instead of this communal love which all believers should present, the love most commonly on display is self-love. When this love is manifested, God becomes dethroned in believers’ hearts to make room for the idol of self. As this occurs, believers then look at churches and their membership solely based upon its potential to serve self.

Often times, before believers even join a particular fellowship, they start with questions about whether the abiblical aspects of the worship service will titillate their emotions sufficiently. In conjunction with this, they consider whether the church can meet their practical needs (e.g., children’s classes, youth gatherings, etc.) without little or no sincere consideration given to whether or not the church maintains a witness that is consistent with Scripture. By doing so, they reveal that they are not approaching God with a proper, worshipful spirit that remains passionately hungry for God and a desire to be in a true loving relationship with His people.  Speaking of this, Warren Wiersbe writes, “If we look upon worship only as a means of getting something from God rather than giving something to God, then we make God our servant instead of our Lord and the elements of worship become a cheap formula for selfish gratification. When worship becomes pragmatic, it ceases to be worship.”[2]

With God being abandoned as the focus of worship, such believers are left with only themselves with no apparent, or so they think, need for authentic Christ-centered, others-focused fellowship. Describing such a person, Kurt Gebhards notes, “He finds in himself all the ability and adequacy he thinks he needs. He avoids scrutiny and rejects any spiritual input from the body of Christ. In his mind, he has no need for others.”[3] This self-worshipping idolatry stands in stark contrast to the examples of the Acts 2 Church and the Thessalonian Church. While the Christians (if they are truly so) may have in the past exemplified “a sincere love for the brethren” that would have arisen from a Christ-centered (as opposed to self-centered) “obedience to the truth,” something most certainly changed along the way as they journeyed back to taking more cues from pop culture than from the Word of God (1 Pet 1:22-23).

Thankfully though perhaps sadly, Scripture reveals that there was a NT church that was not dissimilar to the average contemporary evangelical church of today. As with the Acts 2 Church and the Thessalonian Church, the Corinthian Church, according to Paul, began with the same spiritual strengthening: “I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus, that in everything you were enriched in Him, in all speech and all knowledge, even as the testimony concerning Christ was confirmed in you, so that you are not lacking in any gift, awaiting eagerly the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor 1:4-7).

Despite their initial enrichment in Christ, the Corinthians quickly descended into quarreling (1 Cor 1:11; 11:18). The source of such quarreling is highlighted by James as he rebukes Jewish believers: “What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:1-2). Essentially, the Apostle James affirms that quarreling among believers occurs as sincere love of others gives way to love for one’s self.

For the Corinthian believers, their return to self-love led to power-struggles (1 Cor 1:12), “jealousy,” “strife,” worldliness, arrogant boasting, gross immorality, haughtiness, acts of injustice toward other believers, and a disregard for the holiness of God during the Lord’s Supper (1:12; 3:3; 4:7; 5:1-2; 6:8; 11:20-22). In response to all of these evils, Paul carefully rebukes and corrects the Corinthians. Before doing this however, he first reminds the Corinthians that they obtained the wisdom of God when they believed the gospel of Jesus Christ and received salvation (1:18-31). Among them, Paul initially laid the foundation of “Jesus Christ, and Him crucified” (2:2). Following this, Paul acknowledges his intention to “speak wisdom among those who are mature” (2:6). This wisdom had been “predestined before the ages to [every believer’s] glory” and “prepared for those who love” God (2:7-9). By the gracious will of God, the Word of God has been given so that believers who have “the mind of Christ” may understand the will of God and the life that He desires for them to live (2:10-16).

Whereas the Corinthian Christians should have committed themselves to the faithful study and application of Scripture so that they might persist in holiness like their brethren in the Acts 2 Church and the Thessalonian Church, they opted to love themselves and descend back into to their former fleshly behaviors (3:1-3). To address their backsliding, Paul confronts their worldly way of thinking (3:18-23), calls them to humility (4:6-7), exhorts them to imitate his example (4:16), commands them to “glorify God in [their] bod[ies]” (6:20), directs them toward sexual purity (7), mandates that they be responsible and others-focused in their application of their Christian freedom (8-9:22), advocates self-discipline (8:24-27), leads them to “examine” themselves (11:28), gives them various instruction on the preservation of order within the fellowship (11:1-22; 12; 14), teaches them about sincere love which is Christ-centered (13), and warns them “hold fast the word which [he] preached to [them]” (15:2; cf. 11:2).

In conjunction with Paul’s guidance concerning how Christians should behave, he submits himself as an example of how Christians should “do all things for the sake of the gospel” (8:23; cf. 10:31). This, as has been seen, was most certainly not the initial example of the Corinthians. They quickly descended in self-love by forsaking the Word of God and failing to order their lives according to it. Given Paul’s lengthy letter to them addressing their current state, one would have expected Spirit-filled believers “who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus” to quickly return to being productive Christian servants (1:2). This, however, was not the case, for Paul found need to write another severe letter concerning the lack of discipline among the Corinthians. This letter, unfortunately, has been lost in history.[4]

By the time Paul composed Second Corinthians, it seems the people had, at least to an extent, harkened unto his former directions. Despite this, problems still persisted because, by that time, interlopers had arrived. Being knowledgeable of the popular culture of that day, these false teachers appealed to the worldly sensitivities born through the culture of the Corinthian Church members as a means to separate them from the teachings of Paul. To accomplish this, they attack Paul’s person as opposed to the content of Paul’s letters. They “accus[e] him of being an ineffective leader, given to excessive timidity, capable of not more than third-rate preaching, and having too little background in spiritual and visionary experiences to claim the allegiance of the Corinthians.”[5]

Based on the worldly standards common in the prevailing culture of the Corinthians, Paul utterly failed. Unlike the great orators of his day, Paul’s rhetoric lacked polish (2 Cor 11:6). Furthermore, he broke the cultural traditions by providing it “without charge” when the great speakers of his day were judged by the amount they charged (11:7). As if this was not enough, Paul had chosen not to overly draw attention to his own spiritual experiences when this, like the income made from orations, was a major way used in this culture to evaluate the speaker’s ability and worth.

Affirming the Corinthians were falling prey to these false apostles, D. A. Carson argues that the central problem was not the theology of the church so much as its “overrealized eschatology” which promoted a sort of Christian triumphalism that ultimately misapplies their theology:

“They rightly understood that the salvation Christ provides exalts poor sinners to become priests and kings; but they so emphasized these themes that they started to strut like peacocks, forgetting that until the parousia the church is also called to suffering witness (1 Cor. 4:8–13). The Corinthians were inclined to stress their freedom in Christ (chap. 8); but they overlooked the fact that perfect freedom is possible only where there is perfect goodness—and the church has not yet reached that point. Freedom must therefore be expressed—and curbed!—by loving self-denial; but of this, the Corinthians had learned little.”[6]

Returning back to the previous discussion on the contemporary evangelical church in light of the Scriptural teaching on the Acts 2 Church, the Thessalonian Church, and the Corinthian Church, it would seem that much can be learned. Instead of the selfless love commanded and exemplified first by Christ and then followed by the Apostles, most of today’s churches have returned to where the Corinthians found themselves, whether it be in Paul’s first, second, or third letters to them. For some, they have simply abandoned the Scriptures and given themselves to all manner of worldliness. For these, their situation is quite transparent, and as such, Paul’s remedy in First Corinthians should be applied.

For others, they participate in churches that still loosely hold onto Pauline theology (more or less), but they have allowed their culture to seep in such that it ultimately undoes their theology by leading them to display self-love instead of the God-glorifying sincere love of the brethren to which they were first called. In the churches attended by such as these, one finds primary attention often being given to the blessings instead of the One who has blessed. This, as should be obvious, reeks of the prevailing materialism in the predominant culture. Along with this, one notices that many of these fellowships expend many of their resources to develop and promote the worship experience. By doing so, they submit themselves to the me-focused, self-loving culture that they are supposed to have been drawn away from. In their rush to develop the ultimate experience, many have cast aside competent leadership that knows the Scripture in favor of those who are most charismatic and capable of ingratiating themselves with a crowd. In the near term, many of these churches see their pews (or seats) being filled as solid evidence of their being triumphant in Christ. Once again, their governing standard accords with the culture at large (as opposed to Scripture) which assesses everything based upon the apparent results.

To escape the trap of falling back into sin, Christians must rightly perceive themselves in light of God’s word and not in light of the culture they find themselves. When they find that they have sinned, they should bring themselves back into submission to Christ by humbly repenting and seeking God’s grace knowing that they have been empowered by the Spirit to do so. When they “walk in the Light” of God’s truth, they will experience true, loving “fellowship with one another” (1 John 1:7) As this happens, they will find their witness for Christ will expand beyond being merely individualistic to being corporal in nature. As Jesus says, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

In conclusion, all Christians, from the very moment they first believed, have been equipped to love their fellow believers sincerely. Despite this, many will fail to exhibit this love as they stray from God’s Word and start allowing their own desires and the prevailing cultural standards to direct their course of behavior. When this occurs, the church’s witness as a whole will greatly suffer. This is hardly surprising given that Christ’s commandment given to believers is that they love one another. For those churches who continue to follow this command and those who repent and return to it, they will offer a compelling witness to all concerning the gospel they proclaim to be true.

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[1]All Scripture is taken from NASB1995.

[2]Warren W. Wiersbe, Real Worship: Playground, Battleground, or Holy Ground?, 2^nd ed. (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2000), 28.

[3]Kurt Gebhards, “Choking on Choice: Combating Consumerism with a Biblical Mind-set,” in Fool’s Gold: Discerning Truth in an Age of Error, ed. John MacArthur (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2005), 173.

[4]D. A. Carson, A Model for Christians Maturity: An Exposition of 2 Corinthians 10-13 (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1984), 20. Carson writes, “Paul refers to this lost missive when he writes, “I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you” (2 Cor. 2:4); or again, “The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything” (2:9). In this severe letter, Paul had (among other things) demanded the punishment of the ringleader who had opposed him so maliciously (vv. 3–4, 6, 9; 7:8–12). The context of these passages argues strongly against the view that the severe letter or painful letter was 1 Corinthians, and that the man in question was the church member who was sleeping with his stepmother (1 Cor. 5:1–10). The passages in 2 Corinthians that refer to Paul’s demand in the severe letter for church discipline give no hint of sexual sin: on the contrary, the offense was against Paul, and the crucial question was whether or not the church would rally around its apostolic founder (e.g., 7:12).”

[5]Ibid., 47.

[6]Ibid., 54.