Should Christians Require Repentance of Those Who Would be Forgiven?

By Mark W. Christy

In Colossians 3:12-13 and Ephesians 4:32, Paul declares that Christians should have a heart that desires forgiveness of those who cause offense. In addition to a forgiving disposition, Paul adds that Christians should manifest forgiveness in line with the example of God Himself. Many Christians, aware of the biblical admonishments regarding forgiveness, often interpret these directives to be saying that those who are truly loving disciples of Christ must forgive others in all circumstances. To determine the truth of this popularly held presumption, this article will examine some relevant evidence in the Bible and offer some much-needed correctives.

In part, the brief discussion of Paul’s comments above offers some help toward resolving this matter. Paul only calls upon Christians to forgive others in line with God’s example. To do so, they must first establish that a clear offense has indeed occurred. Given the natural tendency towards bias, errors in perception, miscommunication, and a host of other issues related to the human fallen condition, believers who find themselves offended need to take an abundance of precautions to ensure that their offense is biblically justifiable.

To accomplish this, they should carefully examine any relevant passages so as to ensure that they have proper grounds to levy a charge on the matter in question. Secondly, they should make every effort to determine whether or not an offense has actually occurred. To do this, they could carefully survey the evidence to make sure it is sufficient. To further buttress their position and ensure that their case is solid, they could ask for wisdom from another (such as a pastor). By taking care to ensure that they are justified in being offended, wronged believers will be demonstrating humility by acknowledging their propensity for error. Furthermore, they will also be showing love for the other party and ultimately God Himself by taking great pains so as to care for the other person involved by not rushing to accuse them without proper justification.

With God of course, the aforementioned efforts are completely unnecessary because His judgements are always perfect. For this reason, He can simply move forward instantly to levy His charges the moment that the offense occurs. After this is done though, God does not immediately offer forgiveness while at the same time sweeping everything under the rug. God does not do this for He cannot do this.

According to Scripture, God is absolutely holy and righteous. This being the case, those who would have a right relationship with Him must also be absolutely holy and righteous. Since all humanity has utterly failed to meet this condition for a right relationship with God, their sinful offenses have completely cut them off from a right relationship with Him. Moreover, they now exist in state whereby God’s disposition toward them is one characterized by vehement vengeance and wrath. Noticeably absent from all of this is forgiveness and love, for these characteristics are linked to the maintenance of a right relationship. Since this is so, how do sinful offenders regain a right relationship with God? How do they attain God’s forgiveness and become reunited with His love?

Jesus answers these questions in a rather frank and simple way, “unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3).[1] Those who would remain under God’s wrath will perish apart from forgiveness. Those who would be forgiven, however, must repent. God’s forgiveness, therefore, is conditioned upon repentance.[2] Since this is true and since Paul clearly calls upon Christians to follow God’s example when forgiving others, one can only conclude that repentance must be demanded of those who would be forgiven.

This demand for repentance, if it is to be rightly given, must proceed from a heart that is fully in sync with God’s heart. Since God’s nature is loving and selfless, He always desires to forgive. As Psalm 86:5 teaches, “For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You.” When He acts on His desire for a particular offender though, He acts for the sake of His own glory. As God says in Isaiah 43:25, “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.” In Isaiah 48:9, He adds, “For the sake of My name I delay My wrath, And for My praise I restrain it for you, In order not to cut you off” (cf. Ezek 36:22-32).

From God’s declarations in Isaiah (among other verses), one learns that God’s forgiveness is motivated solely by His own desire to be glorified. Since this is His motive, those who forgive like Him must desire Him to be glorified in all things and in all relationships with others. Since God has shown Himself to be a loving, forgiving, selfless Being, believers who would faithfully follow His example must manifest these qualities in the same way. As they seek God’s glory, they must represent His loving kindness in such a way that His holiness is not cast aside. To do this correctly, they must lovingly desire forgiveness while also mandating repentance of those who require such forgiveness. When repentance is given, they should rejoicingly forgive the offender and welcome them back into fellowship. This sort of reception is directly confirmed by Luke: “there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance” (15:7).

To conclude, all believers are expected to follow God’s example of forgiveness. To do this, they must always manifest a heart that desires reconciliation alongside the desire for the representation of God as Holy so that His name will be appropriately glorified. To accomplish this, they must demand (and seek out) repentance from those who have caused offense.

[1]All Scripture references are taken from NASB1995.

[2]The Bible teaches that true repentance is itself a gift from God. This being so, God meets the very condition that He demands in the life of the believer.